Category Archives: Commentary

I will help you reach spiritual, ethereal heights and you can pay me by the month.

I have given yoga a break and I do feel the loss as far as the structure and consistency.

It was definitely a great way to build strength and balance and I am grateful to my yoga instructor…

……and yet… after about four years, I found myself becoming increasingly impatient with the whole thing;

I felt somewhat annoyed that I mostly didn’t feel centered and calm and deeply moved at the appropriate times.

And the hour sessions were long!

I finally started wearing a watch because it helped me deal with the timing of it better —  –felt a little disturbing to not know how much time remained in the session.  (Don’t they deprive people of a sense of time in order to punish them or make them talk — give with the information?)

I wanted to feel more enlightened instead of slightly skeptical about the presentation – some things seemed just made up and I had to ask how is it possible to breathe into my thigh or some equally impossible task.

I still do some yoga on my own as part of daily exercise; because I think it has value but it got to be an expense I couldn’t justify . “I will help you reach spiritual, ethereal heights and you can pay me by the month.” Our yoga instructor taught me a lot and of course she deserved to get paid but there was an unnecessary pretense of being above all the economic realities.

Note:  One thing that would have made yoga less appealing would be to have a goat jump on my back.

 

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I DON’T

Day fifteen of my retirement

and I am still a bit too concerned about what kind of problems are being had……

…….without me there

I have to keep reminding myself

I DON’T WORK THERE ANYMORE!

And I feel good about that fact, but I’m carrying on with a residual sense of responsibility for it all

I’ve had a few calls from them with questions and I’ve provided answers

and I worry that my answer might not be good enough

but I don’t want to get drawn back in because

I DON’T WORK THERE ANYMORE!

And I blame only me — not them– for the fact that I still feel some angst about the whole thing

They can ask anything.  I’m the one with the choices

and I can answer, or not, because

I DON’T WORK THERE ANYMORE!

…..and for my mental and emotional and physical health,

I need to just relax for awhile

and get over this cold, and see what unfolds

as I head down this uncharted road

I have shouldered a lot of responsibility for a hell of a long time

I gave (literally) years of notice as to when  I would be retiring.

I have earned the right to say no and if I hadn’t or haven’t,

it’s still not up to me to fix anything because

I DON’T WORK THERE ANYMORE!

And the people in charge might actually not be expecting anything more of me

This could be all in my own head

because they may understand even better than me that

I DON’T WORK THERE ANYMORE!

 

Looking at the Moon. In the Snow. Without socks

 

Beautiful, hazy moon tonight! The snowy driveway feels good under feet with socks and no shoes — it doesn’t even feel cold on the ground; the air, though, WAY cold!!

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A Riddle

I awake in the night

uninspired

apprehensive

growing tired

jumping to conclusions

without a net

about what will happen

what will I get?

and how?

’til a thought trickles in, saying,

What about now?

I am well

truth to tell

in the midst of this life

So I say a little prayer

of gratitude

Give myself a dose

of latitude

and fall asleep

listening to that guy

What’s his name?

Is he deep?

as he explain things fully?

Was it Dick VanPatton

or

Eckhart Tolle?

 

FOOD for thought and nutrition-Winter Rerun

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Just read an article about how GOOD it is to eat meat — supposed to be research-based.

Oh for crying out loud.  Every other research-based book or article I’ve read says the exact opposite.  

Example: http://nutritionstudies.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/tccCNS-More_Plants_on_the_Plate.pdf

It’s a conundrum. 

When I look at my own experience, I still lean towards the whole food, plant-based diet.  When I switched to that, I lost weight, stopped getting a really bad headache every couple of weeks, skin conditions cleared up, body functions functioned better, blood test results improved. 

When I occasionally eat butter or other animal-based food, nothing terrible happens, but I do tend to gain a couple of pounds  every-single-time.

So, there’s that.  Perhaps the verdict is still out, but I think I’ll go with my gut.  As in, which way of eating makes my gut feel better.

I miss eating cheese, but I don’t miss the almost immediate skin reaction that ensues.  I know, not everybody has that kind of feedback, but it must be telling me something about what I should be eating.  It’s not science — no double-blind studies by me; just observational.  And we’re all a little different as far as what we can tolerate.

It gets frustrating to read such diametrically opposed, passionate presentations of what we should do.

 

Be

I sense somehow

that I censor myself

so no-one can find out

But I don’t know

what it is

they might discover

When I just relax

and let it be

I tend to arrive

much closer to me

 

 

Starting to stop…

Listening to the news

and wondering where it will all lead;

when will the bad guys concede,

when will we  catch a reprieve?

Maybe today.  Maybe tomorrow.

 

 

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I Still Like Dining Out, but…

Restaurant food,

it’s been my belief

leads to weighing too much

and subsequent grief.

Whether salty or sugary

savory or sweet

salads or soups

or meals without meat,

Time after time –

I find no exception –

the pounds pile on –

and that’s my perception.

It needn’t be that way?

(one might not agree)

well, maybe it needn’t

but in my life…

…it be!

 

 

 

Practice of Sorts

Break free

Move to higher ground

Avoid future traps

Opportunities abound

Cliches may be predictable

But a grain of truth resides

Rumination may not lead the way

Who is the who who decides?

Break free and then break free

Develop new rituals that take you

     where you want to be.

Just like you brush your teeth —

      you could habitually take a walk

           or chronically notice the good stuff.

You are enough.

“My experience is what I agree to attend to.” said William James.

 

 

IN THE LIGHT

bedroom   I KEEP READING THAT ONE ONE OF THE REASONS FOR INSOMNIA CAN BE TOO MUCH LIGHT IN THE ROOM AND THE USE OF COMPUTERS OR TVS IN THE BEDROOM AND HOW IT MESSES WITH THE NATURAL LIGHT AND DARK CYCLES.  AND I JUST READ THAT IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS WITHOUT ELECTRONICS, PEOPLE SLEPT ALL NIGHT LONG.  WELL, THAT’S QUITE A LEAP I’D SAY!

SERIOUSLY, I DO NOT ACCEPT THAT INSOMNIA SUDDENLY CAME INTO PLAY AFTER ELECTRICITY  WAS DEVELOPED.  NOBODY WORRIED OR PACED BEFORE THEN?

I GET THE WHOLE LIGHT-AND-DARK-CYCLE ROUTINE BUT I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO IT THAN THAT.  I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT WE HAVE ELECTRICITY SO THAT WHEN I REALLY CANNOT SLEEP, THERE IS SOMETHING TO DO BESIDES LIE THERE AND FEEL STRESSED AND DISTRAUGHT—-LIKE WATCH A TV SHOW ON MY I-PHONE OR LISTEN TO A PODCAST.  BACK IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS THEY JUST GOT TO BE AWAKE IN THE DARK, POSSIBLY WITH WILD ANIMALS LURKING ABOUT.

WHEN I AM NOT HAVING A BOUT WITH INSOMNIA, I CAN SLEEP IN THE LIGHT, IN THE DARK AND IN THE MIDST OF NOISE AND MUSIC, SO WHILE I UNDERSTAND THAT LIGHT MAY INTERFERE WITH OVERALL SLEEP AND HEALTH PATTERNS, AND THAT IDEALLY IT SHOULD BE ALL DARK AND QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT, I PROPOSE THAT IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE IMMEDIATE PROBLEM AND AT TIMES CAN HELP WITH RELAXATION AND BECOME A PART OF THE SOLUTION SO………….
LET THERE BE LIGHT!

(TYPED WITH ONE HAND SINCE OTHER HAND AND WRIST WAS HEALING FROM A SPRAIN–I WAS NOT YELLING–JUST TYPING IN CAPS TO KEEP THE TYPING TASK SIMPLER.)