Category Archives: wondering and pondering

Not Dorothy Parker, but trying to sort it out

Now we speak of

“your truth”

“her truth”

“his truth”

“my truth”

Have we lost all affection for

THE truth or even SOME truth?

“All I want is the truth,

Just give me some truth”

 said John Lennon

Would we call that crazy today; and under-hyped?

What with people being labeled, pigeon-holed and stereotyped

Divided into categories, declaring how done wrong we all are………………………………………with a tinge of glee,

While creating new stereotypes for the opposition — how can this be?

Announcing how we must fight, fight, fight

in order to create utopia before the breaking news tonight.

in the name of progress and sanctimonious concern

What are we playing at?  What can we learn?

I hear the call to accept everyone’s truth; do not judge,

(while judging so harshly, refusing to budge)

and in the same breath condemn an alternate view

because only subjective reasoning is held to be true

Will we throw away commonsense and common ground

     for political gain and power unbound?

Will we turn our backs on the freedom we desired?

It kinda makes me sick

Truth is…. it makes me tired

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Managing

Imagine managing life

with a lightness of spirit

Imagine noticing how much I worry

and then moving on to actually noticing all the things around me and getting on with living!

It seems like a way to be more relaxed maybe even less

focused on what is going wrong or what could go wrong

The world is always, has always and may always be amazing and wonderful and at the same time:  an utter mess; before I arrived, while I’m here and after I leave……..so perhaps my obligation to the world is to be an enthusiastic participant.

The principle of moral proximity rings true to me.  I can be concerned without being responsible for all the stuff all over the world.

I can’t fix it all and make everyone be kind.  Period.  On certain days, I can barely manage me!

Here are Kevin DeYoung & Greg Gilbert on this concept:

Moral proximity refers to how connected we are to someone by virtue of familiarity, kinship, space, or time…. The closer the moral proximity, the greater the moral obligation…. [This principle] reminds us that we can’t possibly be the same kind of good neighbor to everyone in the world, nor must we. Supporting AIDS relief in Africa is a wonderful thing to do, but a failure to do so does not automatically make a church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, a gospel-less, selfish church. But if that same church did nothing to help their people when the river flooded in 2008, then they do not understand the love of Christ. Moral proximity should not make us more cavalier to the poor. But it should free us from unnecessary guilt and make us more caring toward those who count on us most.

Probably

My daughter is 41 years old!!!  

Which, by my calculations,

makes me a touch older,

truth be told.  

It seems unlikely….and yet…there it is —

I am in a new age category, and gee whiz

though I feel grateful as I write this text

because I like seeing what will happen next 

I’m also kind of a ‘fraidy cat

so I peek around the corner to see where I’m at

and although nothing is ever quite crystal clear

it turns out I’m standing, still standing right here

in the middle

of the beginning

of the rest of my life

A good place to be

Probably

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From a day in September 2016 or Non lo so

Today I wonder if I will ever just relax

I wake up in the morning feeling tired

Go to bed feeling the same way.  

I ain’t nuthin’ but tired.  Yeah, I’m just tired and bored with myself.  Hey there baby I could use. just a little help

Wait, I just lapsed into a Bruce Springsteen song.

Meanwhile, I dreamed I had to maneuver through lot of obstacles to get somewhere — rocky stuff and hills that a person could easily fall off of and I seem to have made it through; but what was the point?  I do not know.  

Maybe it was that you can make it through the things you see as trouble.

You are strong.  It’s not that the obstacles won’t be there.  It’s that you will handle it.

Maybe it was a psychic thing — a few months after that dream, I broke my wrist on Mount Vesuvius! And I handled it!  Coincidence?  Non lo so.

 

 

I wonder if…

Accounting Principals from cake

I wonder if retiring in the winter was such a good idea as a little cabin fever is creeping in.  Maybe it’s okay, though.  It is definitely a time to lay low and relax a bit….and a time to recuperate from a cold.  And maybe more importantly, a time to recuperate from the somewhat unnecessary scramble to wrap things up at work while preparing things for the transition from me to my replacement; all of which was actually stressful and difficult. I allowed other people’s poor planning to become my problem.   I won’t miss facing that particular situation. 

I wonder if I learned anything from that experience.  I feel a certain disappointment that my recommendations went unheeded…would have been a smoother transition, I do believe.  Ah, well…..it is what it is and they are what they are and I am what I am.

I wonder if I will pursue a part-time job in this retirement phase.  Ah, honey, I do not know.

I wonder if I will get started now with more “arty” pursuits.  I received a gift certificate for the Kalamazoo Institute of the Arts …. so I can take a class sooner or later.  Meanwhile, time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future….which means spring is on the way and that is a good thing to anticipate. 

I wonder if I will be okay, be okay, be okay.  I say it could happen!

(“So many things I wonder.” — part of a song from Mixed Nuts movie)

 

Standing, Still

This is where I am

Here and now

Icy predictions

cannot deter me

I am one among many

We carry on

in the face of

considerable opportunities

for dire consequences

Impressive

if you think about it

 

 

 

It Occurs to Me….

It occurs to me

That I need not be

Accountable on any date

For every possible twist of fate

Responsibility has its place

And doggedly persevering

can win the race

But….

Advice to me was recently given

That there’s a time in space

For being driven

And…

This is something good to know:

There is also a time to

LET. IT. GO.

January 1, 2018

It is January 1, 2018 and it has arrived right on time.

It is the first day of my retirement and so far, so good. I’m looking forward to not having to go to work tomorrow and driving in the zero degree weather and blizzardy snow. I am currently grateful for that and for a furnace that works and a husband who made it so as I take the first steps onto this next path.

And I calmly ask: WHAT CAN HAPPEN?!!!!

A Mish Mash

Haven’t written much lately. And I don’t know why!  Life is good.  Went to Italy in March and broke my wrist on the way down Mt Vesuvius.  I hadn’t even walked all the way up! Ah, I knew that volcano would get me.

It was a wonderful and amazing trip (pardon the pun) in spite of that unwanted event.

I loved Italy and the coffee they served and the way that they served it.  And I have stories about the joys of traveling with my husband, and my daughter and her husband (who guided us with great care and patience), and the wonderful people we met and finding and visiting my grandparents home village.

So why don’t I write about all that in detail? 

Meanwhile, I am getting ready to retire in January and I am thrilled and slightly terrified by the whole thing.  I will miss the people and the structure of work and the details of my job and being necessary to the whole mission.  I will also be elated to not have to attend to all those details and not being necessary to the whole shebang.  I will miss the very things I do not currently wish to do.  It’s such a mixed bag of emotions and expectations.

The very things I love are sometimes the very things I do not love.

What can happen?

 

 

I Don’t Know Anything

I just read  a post on Facebook from an expert.  I think she makes a good point, but it got me to wonder if such commentary helps anything.  She was talking about the fact that racism is taught and it is not innate and it is obviously illogical and she instructed people to knock it off.  As if that statement will solve the problem and dense people will suddenly see the light.   Another post said, basically, let’s have world peace day today — which is an excellent idea but the people patting themselves on the back for participating in world peace day are not the ones causing the violence in the first place.

People seem to love it when someone states the obvious — treating it as if it were oh-so-profound.  Maybe I’m being cynical but for crying out loud:  if people stop being racist that would be lovely but that’s not all there is to it.  There are unkind people who use any excuse to gain power and are not persuaded by catchy phrases.  Get me — stating the obvious.

Peace and harmony can be affected and increased by each individual; I do believe that.  But scolding people on Facebook seems kind of ridiculous; the people who need to hear it are not likely to embrace the thing.  What’s the point then?  Is it so someone can say, “Aren’t I good?   I am joining world peace day!”  Otherwise, what?  You were going to go be violent?

Ah, well…..just feeling aggravated by the simplistic, somewhat pious commentaries.   If it helps people, though, who am I to say?  Maybe it all really will make a positive difference.

Peace.