As It Happens

As it happens,

I am often discombobulated

Anxiety auto-generated

And as it happens,

I am often absolutely combobulated

and see that life is to be celebrated

and joy arrives on schedule

Could be that life and death have been dated,

determined by actions and even fated

long ago

      I do not know

      I do not know

Or as they say in Italy,

      Non lo so

      Non lo so

A Good Day

What will the radiologist say

to an old lady like me

on Mammogram Day

Trouble

Trouble

Or something okay

So I can proceed as if

I will have a smooth way

for now

and up to and including

the hour of my death

Amen

Addendum:

This time it was totally okay

so…..hurray for a good day)

Scribbling for Focused Relaxation

It’s Not

It’s not even funny

How hard life can be

If you worry enough

About things you can’t see

Or know

Or control

Or predict

Or believe

Seems like a good idea to knock that off

Because, what if it all works out okay?

Salmon Chowder

https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/northwest-salmon-chowder/

I used the recipe in the above link to make a salmon chowder. I used vegetable broth instead of chicken broth. And I only used 1/2 cup of half-and-half and a cup or so of water. I used canned salmon. I think red pepper would be pretty and tasty in this, too.

I also threw in some peas (and a little thyme and parsley from the garden just because it was there!). Oh, and I sprinkled in about 1/2 teaspoon of smoked paprika.

Bottom line, it turned out really good.

Thoughts About Being Unreasonably Happy

Turns out I do not need to live in constant fear in order to be safe. In addition to that, I can choose to be unreasonably happy. Somehow I can accept the idea of being happy if I label it as unreasonable. It’s like saying, I realize all the distressing possibilities. I am not oblivious. So I’m covered; in case my mind thinks it has to keep reminding me that bad things can happen. I will accept a false sense of well-being whenever a true sense of well-being is not available.

I could start to ask is something right with me instead of is something wrong. Act against the urge to just keep worrying. Sometimes disturbing emotional energies can distort the truth. Can I ever be content in the moment? Yes, I can just as I can feel fidgety and unsettled. Sometimes I seem to be drifting, waiting for some inevitable final outcome. Sometimes I forget to remember to let it be and carry on. Waiting for every little thing to be settled before I relax and let go of angst does not really make sense. Sometimes entire moments and entire hours go by and I forget to be concerned. Sometimes, not often enough, I reflect upon the good things, on the most likely outcomes instead of the scariest or most disappointing; and I feel lighter. Don’t need to invite trouble to show up early; time for trouble later. Now is the place I am and there is no room for that which does not yet exist.

When did I become so hung up on everything? Time keeps on its relentless drumbeat, leading us into the future and I march along with joy and trepidation. No way to control it, it’s totally automatic. I practice noticing rather than despairing and continue to practice being less freaked out by what is to come, which is as likely to be good as to be bad; at least until it ain’t. Tormenting myself now will not help the unknowable future. Let the end of torment in the world start in my own mind. My thinking can be discombobulated and is not always helpful; let go of it why don’t I?

I can choose to have faith when my senses tell me not to.

I can choose on behalf of happiness.

I can choose to be unreasonably happy.

Looking up.

Imagined Troubles

Do not suffer imagined troubles

the stoic said to me

but I have a good imagination

Imagine the best is yet to be

but that’s not where my thinking goes

when I simply set it free

except on fine occasions

when I accept mortality

and notice all the grace

encountered on the way

to where ever we are headed

moment-to-moment

day-by-day

Accidental Colors

The similar colors just caught my eye. I think the water color must have been my attempt to use up leftover paint!

Just a note…

Like most things, writing takes practice. So here is a bit of something to keep in practice.

I. Am. Still. Here. And so far, so good.

I had planned to be enlightened by Wednesday (quite a few years ago)……..

….and yet….the lights are still not completely on; but there are lights, so that’s good.

Experiencing healthy days and interesting pursuits and many happy moments are things not to be taken for granted. I like my husband, and my new kitchen counter (in that order) and so I light a candle each evening to acknowledge not only the husband and counter, but all the good stuff and great people in my life. I will probably do that for awhile until I forget about it but someone mentioned it and I’m trying it out.

This acknowledgement seems important anytime but especially in times like these in which it seems we are literally and consistently encouraged to be afraid and on constant high alert. What happened to you have nothing to fear but fear itself? Enough is enough.

Watched a show yesterday called Finding Alice (on AcornTV). One of Alice’s comments was that she had no real “girlfriends” I’m not good at that, she said; I’m like a man. (That line made me smile).

End of practice session.

Fact-checking Galileo

May I be enlightened by Wednesday
And relaxed by tonight
May I be unfrightened by headlines
And calmed by the sight
Of clouds in blue sky
And stars in the night

Pressures to conform
Can be harsh yet defied
At times truth is hidden
At times someone lied

Galileo wasn’t wrong
In his time and in his day
With proud claims and accusations 
the collective got their way

May we keep an open forum
as we strive to make our case
Seeking truth ahead of power
as we run this human race